“A woman is like a tea bag you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
From the outside, many women appear happy, successful, and settled. But inside, many fight silent battles. They live double lives — one for the world, and one for themselves.
In patriarchal societies like India and even parts of the U.S., women are often expected to follow rules, sacrifice dreams, and carry responsibilities—all while being told, “This is your duty.”
This blog explores:
- What is patriarchy?
- How it affects women’s lives
- Real stories of struggle and courage
- The path toward true freedom
1. What Is Patriarchy?
Patriarchy is a system where men hold primary power and women are expected to be dependent or submissive. It affects families, workplaces, governments—even schools.
In such societies:
- Men are seen as leaders.
- Women are expected to serve, not lead.
- Boys are raised to be strong.
- Girls are taught to be silent.
In many Indian families, a boy failing exams may still be praised for being “ladka hai” (he’s a boy), while a girl topping the class is told, “Ab shaadi ki baari hai” (now it’s time for marriage).
2. The Double Life of Modern Women
Modern women are told:
“You can be anything.”
But at home, they hear:
“Don’t come home late.”
“Wear proper clothes.”
“Balance career and family.”
This leads to a split identity.
Neha, a software engineer in Bengaluru, works late hours and leads projects. But when she returns home, she’s expected to cook dinner, serve tea to relatives, and avoid talking about her salary—because her husband earns less.
3. Early Conditioning: Girls Grow Up Learning Limits
From childhood, girls are taught:
- Don’t laugh too loud.
- Don’t sit like that.
- Learn to cook.
- Don’t argue with elders.
This teaches them to shrink, not shine.
“Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings.” – Alex
4. Struggles at Work
Even educated, employed women face discrimination:
- Unequal pay
- Fewer leadership roles
- Maternity bias
- Sexual harassment
In the U.S., women make 82 cents for every dollar a man earns (U.S. Department of Labor, 2023). Women of color earn even less.
Only 18% of leadership roles in India are held by women (Grant Thornton Report, 2024), despite thousands of qualified female graduates every year.
5. Marriage and Motherhood Expectations
In patriarchal cultures, a woman is often defined by her marital status or her ability to “manage” a home.
- If she marries late: “Something must be wrong.”
- If she doesn’t want children: “She’s selfish.”
- If she speaks out: “She’s too bold.”
Men are rarely judged the same way.
6. Violence and Control
Many women are controlled through:
- Emotional abuse
- Dowry pressure
- Domestic violence
- Online harassment
Even women who appear strong suffer in silence, fearing “log kya kahenge” (what will people say).
Manisha Valmiki, a Dalit girl from Uttar Pradesh, was brutally assaulted in 2020. Her case shocked the nation, but it exposed how gender + caste becomes double discrimination.
7. The Mental Load: An Invisible Burden
Working women often carry the “mental load”—remembering birthdays, planning meals, caring for kids, managing home tasks—even if they have full-time jobs.
This unpaid emotional labor is exhausting, yet never acknowledged.
How Are Women Fighting Back?
Despite all this, women are rising. And they’re not alone.
1. Education is a Weapon
Educated women are more likely to:
- Earn their own income
- Stand up against abuse
- Raise confident daughters
Programs like Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao in India and Title IX laws in the U.S. have helped increase girls’ access to education and safety.
2. Social Media as a Tool for Resistance
Women are now using Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter to:
- Share stories
- Build communities
- Expose harassment
- Launch businesses
Movements like #MeToo, #SheThePeople, and #WomenSupportingWomen are changing the conversation.
3. Female Role Models Are Rising
From Kamala Harris in the U.S. to Draupadi Murmu in India, strong women are entering positions of power, proving that women can lead and inspire.
Other examples:
- Falguni Nayar (Nykaa)
- Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw (Biocon)
- Gita Gopinath (IMF)
4. Men as Allies
Not all men support patriarchy. Many are allies who:
- Share household work
- Encourage their partners’ careers
- Raise daughters to be bold
The fight is not against men—it’s against the mindset.
Whether you’re a woman or a man, here’s how you can help:
- Question gender roles at home.
- Raise your voice against injustice.
- Encourage girls to dream big.
- Support women-led businesses.
- Vote for policies that promote gender equality.
Even in developed countries, women face struggles:
- In the U.S., reproductive rights are still debated.
- In Iran, women protested for the right to remove hijabs.
- In Afghanistan, girls are banned from schools beyond Grade 6.
Patriarchy wears different masks in different places—but the fight is the same.
Women shouldn’t have to live double lives.
They shouldn’t have to smile while breaking inside.
They shouldn’t have to “adjust” or “stay silent” to be respected.
It’s time to break the cycle.
Let’s create a world where women don’t have to choose between being bold and being accepted, between being strong and being loved.
Let’s build a future where being a woman is not a struggle, but a superpower.